A Trip to the Tavern
by Timelord-In-Camelot
Summary: "I suppose all psychopathic murderous witches need a break from time to time," Merlin says coolly. "Oh, definitely. You have no idea how hard it is." She downs the rest of her drink and quickly orders another. Merlin does the same. "So, what's the plan, then?" "I'm getting hammered." (Set in Series 3.)


The truth is, Morgana was fed up of it. She was fed up of him following her to the secret meetings with Morgause and foiling her plans. It unnerved her. So she came up with a plan. She would do some following of her own.

So, she hid patiently outside his chambers, awaiting his appearance. It was nearly midnight before he finally showed, wearing the same blue shirt, brown trousers and jacket, the same red neckerchief she wanted to strangle him with.

He didn't look as though he was undercover, walking confidently through the corridors and out of the castle, towards the lower town. He doesn't seem to know she's following him, or maybe he does and he's leading her on some merry little dance around Camelot.

She is almost disappointed when he heads into the tavern – so much for finding out some dark little secret he had hidden away. Although, this was a chance be used to her advantage. There wasn't much time to have fun and a drink when she was with Morgause. It was all about taking over Camelot, killing Uther and Arthur and bringing magic to the kingdom. Perhaps she could do with a little break.

Morgana enters the tavern with what you could call a flourish, pushing open the door and standing purposefully in the doorway. She pulls down the hood of her cloak and reveals her identity. The laughter and talking dies down in an instant as everyone turns to look at her in shock. She smirks, a facial gesture that Morgause made her practice in the mirror, at the reaction. Merlin looks equally shocked, bringing his mug away from his lips.

"Lady Morgana," Sir Leon speaks up from a group of knights. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't look so concerned, Leon. I merely came here for a little fun, that's all." It wasn't the truth, but barely anything she said was these days.

Leon looks confused, like he always did. "Has Uther allowed it?"

She gestures to his group. "He doesn't know. I'm sure he doesn't know about his finest knights being off duty at such a late hour, either." A stunned silence rings out. "I won't tell if you don't."

"Well, obviously," Leon stammers.

"As you were," Morgana says in a commanding voice, walking over to the barmaid whose bust was clearly bigger than her brain. "I'll have what he's having," she tells her, pointing to Merlin. He comes over and sits at her table, raising an eyebrow as she takes a sip of her drink and winces at the taste.

"Decided to follow me, did you?"

"Bastard," she scowls at him.

He clucks his tongue, "Language."

Morgana shrugs. "I'm sure fouler things are said in this tavern."

"Probably," he agrees. "Why are you here, then? Is Morgause getting on your nerves? All that time you spend cackling over cauldrons should be getting rather tedious."

She ignores his comment and takes a big gulp, wrinkling her nose. "I thought I deserved a holiday away from plotting yours and Arthur's demise."

"Ah, right. I suppose all psychopathic murderous bitches need a break from time to time," Merlin says coolly.

"Oh, definitely. You have no idea how hard it is." She downs the rest of her drink and quickly orders another.

Merlin does the same. "So, what's the plan, then?"

"I'm getting hammered."

She wins the drinking game with the knights, glugging down an astonishing six tankards of mead and three pints of beer, smashing the all-time record. Everyone except Merlin cheers her on as she swallows the last mouthful of beer, holding the empty cup in the air for people to see.

Things start to get out of control because soon she is up on the tables, dancing and singing along in a drunken stupor. Merlin watches from the side lines, shaking his head and cringing with embarrassment.

Morgana didn't have the best singing voice in the world and her dancing wasn't the most graceful in the kingdom, but the knights were enjoying the show, unsurprisingly. Another flat note gets belted out as she sings loudly in to a wooden spoon, waving her empty hand in the air.

"Yeaaaah, Uther is an awful king, all that swing and no ding…" she stops singing and laughs hysterically at her own lyrics, clutching her stomach as her whole body shakes. "Oh, Morgause is going to love that part…"

He elbows his way through the cheering crowds and grabs her hand, pulling her down from the table. "Come on, I think we need to get you back to the castle."

"I want to stay here," she complains, swaying on the spot. "With my friends…"

He takes the bottle from her and sets it down on the table. She makes a dive for it, but he swipes it away again. "You can come back another night."

"But I want to stay here _this_ night!" She grumbles childishly, folding her arms across her chest.

"Well you can't. Now come on. Let's go." He drags her out of the tavern, still singing.

"Ooooh, Arthur is a rubbish prince, I want to turn his brain to mince…" she starts giggling again. "Well, if he had a brain."

"You might not want to sing your feelings out to the whole of Camelot, Morgana," he warns, glancing around nervously.

"Why not?"

"Uther might charge you with treason."

Morgana shrugs. "Oh, well I suppose if he's going to charge me with treason, he can burn me at the stake as well..."

"No, no Morgana, don't!" It is too late.

"WELL HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME'S MORGANA AND I'VE GOT MAGIC," she hollers loudly. "I'M OUTSIDE THE TAVERN WITH MY BEST BUDDY MERLIN WHO ALSO TRIED TO POISON ME, SO YOU CAN COME AND GET MEEEEE!"

"And Gaius says I'm bad at keeping it secret," Merlin mutters. She doesn't hear him. He clamps a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet.

She bites his palm and he yelps, loosening his grip. "Are we going back to my chambers?"

"I think that's best, don't you? Now, stand up straight and walk properly."

It took them a while to get back up to her room, because Morgana had decided that she now had a phobia of stairs and demanded that he carry her up them. He places her down on her bed, or rather drops her.

"Ooof!" She thumps down on the mattress, rolling to the edge.

He leans over her and tries to pull the quilt over her, but she keeps kicking it away. "Stay still, would you!"

She doesn't relent. "We should do it, you know."

He sighs and gives up with the blankets. "Do what?"

"Sleep together," she slurs out, sending him a sly grin.

"What?" He snorts.

"Sleep together! You know, have sex! It'll be fun!"

"I don't think that's a good idea," he disagrees.

She grasps his arm and pulls him on the bed with her, moving over to straddle his waist, pinning him down. "Come on, Merlin. Please?"

"You're really going to regret this tomorrow morn-"

She shuts him up with a kiss. It isn't entirely unpleasant, having his warm lips pressed against hers. For a second, she feels herself enjoying the contact, but then Merlin pulls away.

"We're not allowed to do this. And you hate me."

"You're such a killjoy, Merlin. But I suppose you can stay here, anyway." She huffs and rolls off of him, tugging the quilt up to her ears.

"You want me to sleep in your bed?" He squeaks.

"Yeah, it'll be nice," Morgana says sleepily. "My bed's very comfy."

"Are you sure?"

"Uh-huh. Now stop asking questions and go to sleep. You're keeping me awake."

000

"Morgana… wake up…"

Her eyes snap open and focus on the ceiling, trying to make sense of the situation of why someone, a man, was in bed with her. She turns on her side to see… Merlin.

"What the _hell _are you doing here?" She hisses at him, kicking his shin under the covers.

"You followed me down to the tavern, got drunk, told everyone you had magic and then tried to seduce me."

"You're such a LIAR!" Morgana shrieks at him, shoving his away with her hands.

"Christ, you're strong!" He topples out of the bed as she wrestles him to the ground, their legs tangled in the sheets.

"I did NOT try to seduce you!" She wants to throttle him, but her head is filled with cotton wool and her brain and arms can't make the connection.

"Oh, really? Because last night you said it would be fun!" He argues back, trying to push her off him.

She continues her attack, thumping his shoulder. "God, I hate you!"

Gwen pops her head around the door, frowning. "Morgana, are you okay?" She sees them both wrapped up in the bed sheets on the floor. "Oh. Do you want me to come back later?"


End file.
